Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Kickboxing Orangutans - News in Song

April 3rd - April 14th, 2010

C, G, D/F#, Em

oh my lord
what is that?
It’s the next susan boyle
Voice don’t match the body
But he’s blowing up Mariah

Opening day, obama threw out a first pitch to boos
Was it healthcare, the white sox hat or ‘cause he
throws like a girl wearing high stiletto shoes

John paul stevens stepping down
Who is going replace him?
I betcha it’s a girl
Who likes her government big and nasty

And Steven Speilberg’s got nothing on this masters day story
Tiger Alone can’t touch Phil + his family

And texas stadium imploded
Just like insert tony romo joke here

And there’s no better entertainment
Than kickboxing orangutans
So I’ll leave you with that 

Friday, April 2, 2010

Congressman Johnson Afraid Guam Will Tip Over - News in Song

March 19th - April 2nd, 2010
Three crooks in Montreal went on a shopping spree
used a prison account number to rob a store
yeah, the criminals… will end up in
the same jail they robbed

Hank Johnson got nervous that adding military bases to Guam
Would be a bad idea
I agree, but for constitutional reasons
He’s afraid the island will tip over. Seriously.

And the GAO gave EnergyStar
tax credits for products that don’t even exist
Like gas power alarm clocks
Oh I wish that the government would be in charge of more

The healthcare bill got passed
Biden said it was a big effin’ deal
now parents won’t worry ‘bout their kids getting sick
but the rest of us will worry  ‘bout paying for it

and CERN created thousands of mini big bangs
by crashing sub-atomic particles together
but no one blacked out after all
I think flashforward lied to me

The Vatican got mad
That the new york times got mad
About the vatican’s cover-up job
They say they’re still men of God

and happy birthday
to nancy Pelosi
she turned 70
her face turned 6