A poker tournament in Germany
Got robbed on live tv
And Kathryn bigelow beat her former jigelow
for oscar gold
As hurt locker beat out avatar
Unemployed Conan went on Twitter
Got a half-million followers overnight
Friended one person completely at random
And changed Sarah Killen’s 19-year old life
Sean Penn said that American journalists should go to jail
For calling Hugo Chavez a dictator
There’s so much wrong with that statement
That I refuse to get into it
And don’t tell a woman to shut up in the movie theater
‘cause you might just stabbed in the neck by her boyfriend with a meat thermometer
And lawmaker Felix Ortiz
Wants to ban salt in restaurants in new york
God save us all
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