Unemployed Conan on Twitter - News in Song

March 7th - March 18th, 2010

A poker tournament in Germany

Got robbed on live tv

And Kathryn bigelow beat her former jigelow

for oscar gold

As hurt locker beat out avatar

Unemployed Conan went on Twitter

Got a half-million followers overnight

Friended one person completely at random

And changed Sarah Killen’s 19-year old life

Sean Penn said that American journalists should go to jail

For calling Hugo Chavez a dictator

There’s so much wrong with that statement

That I refuse to get into it

And don’t tell a woman to shut up in the movie theater

‘cause you might just stabbed in the neck by her boyfriend with a meat thermometer

And lawmaker Felix Ortiz

Wants to ban salt in restaurants in new york

God save us all

Chat Roulette - News in Song

February 26th - March 6th, 2010

Capo 2

C, G, D/F#

Em (bridge)

3-year old Cody cried over Justin Bieber

so she went on Kimmel and finally got to meet him

which proves if you cry real hard, you’ll get what you want

As long as you’re adorable

cities across the country started making a lot of money

on automatic red-light cameras

so they started rolling back the yellow light times

all in the name of safety??

in a mall in dubai, an aquarium cracked

the sharks got free, swam straight to the gap

in seaworld shamu 2 pulled a Siegfried and roy

and made her trainer disappear

what are the fish trying to tell us, I mean mammals

And chatroulette.com went viral

Exposing the world to a bunch of exposers