Dick Cheney Survives His 5th Heart Attack - News in Song

February 15th - Feburary 25th, 2010

Capo 6

Fmaj7, C

a man flew a plane into a building

the IRS in Austin, texas

wrote a letter against the system

he proved his point

The point’s he’s crazy

tiger said I’m sorry tiger said I’m Buddhist

if he’d allowed some questions

I’m sure that’s all we wanted to know

ron paul won the republican straw poll

for who you’d vote as president today

if only he would say

bombs are ok

he’d be there to stay

harry reid said that men are abusive

when they stay at home with nothing to do

so we’ve got to pay billions

to give ‘em fake jobs so they won’t beat their wives

He is actually the democractic majority leader.

Of our congress, oh God help us

And dick cheney survived his 1, 2, 3, 4, 5^th heart attack.

Either God’s trying real hard to kill him, or God’s who he is.

We Are the World - News in Song

Feburary 10th - February 14th, 2010

G, D/F#, Em, C

3 out of 4 pillars ended on fire

vancouver’s attempt at a dazzling array

the Beijing opening was hard to follow

as they say in vancouver, it’s good enough, aye?

A terrible day for the country of Georgia

Whose Olympic hopes died while riding the luge

I guess when going 150 miles an hour on ice

The odds of bad things happening are huge

Alec Baldwin got rushed to the hospital

Because his daughter said he wanted to die

Slam dunk contest was sloppy and lazy

I’ve seen better dunks by white boys at the Y

And we are the world sang songs for Haiti

And by “we” I mean the top 1% of Hollywood billionaire musicians

Saints Win the SuperBowl - News in Song

February 1st - February 9th, 2010

F#m, A

Super bowl went on in Miami

A record hundred six and a half million tuned in.

The most watched commercials ever

And those who paid attention to the game, you saw the saints go marching in.

It came out that Katie Couric

gets paid a whole lot more than her staff.

But you’d get that much too

if you had calfs like that

DC gets covered in Christmas

30 plus inches of snow

it’s pure white entrapment

it’s hell freezing over

Toyota falls from the top to the bottom

After brakes went out on their hybrid star Prius

You drive one, you might end up dead

but now’s your best chance to get a car of eco-bliss

USC recruited a 13-year old quarterback.

Could it be their coaches are high on powder they call crack

Hoping his domination of 95-pound kids

will translate to the bigs

and Mel Gibson called a reporter an a-hole

For asking the question we all want to know

Do you think people still hate you for hating some people?

State of the State - News in Song

January 24th - January 31st, 2010

Em, G, D/F#

obama gave the state of the state

and the truth is it ain’t all that great

so the optimistic rhetoric

isn’t quite what I’d expect

but most importantly, what’s the deal with miss pelosi’s

lips, is she eating them?

Brett favre threw a questionable throw

That sent the saints off to the superbowl

The fantasy giants of manning and brees

Will fight ‘til the other one’s down on his knees

Roger federer went to australia

sent andy murray crying like a baby kanga

As roger broke the record books further

16 majors and counting and counting

Apple released the ipad

What does it do? What is it for?

It’s an e-book reader for people who don’t read

It’s like a laptop but only without the lap you see

But who really cares, it’s shiny and cool.

And more than enough to make the fan babies drool.

leno went on oprah had a heart to heart

spoke his mind and made me forced to like him

But I need someone to hate

‘cause I need an enemy

or I’d have to admit that Americans don’t find brilliance that funny