Thursday, February 25, 2010

Dick Cheney Survives His 5th Heart Attack - News in Song

February 15th - Feburary 25th, 2010

Capo 6
Fmaj7, C

a man flew a plane into a building
the IRS in Austin, texas
wrote a letter against the system
he proved his point
The point’s he’s crazy

tiger said I’m sorry tiger said I’m Buddhist
if he’d allowed some questions
I’m sure that’s all we wanted to know

ron paul won the republican straw poll
for who you’d vote as president today
if only he would say
bombs are ok
he’d be there to stay

harry reid said that men are abusive
when they stay at home with nothing to do
so we’ve got to pay billions
to give ‘em fake jobs so they won’t beat their wives
He is actually the democractic majority leader.
Of our congress, oh God help us

And dick cheney survived his 1, 2, 3, 4, 5th heart attack.
Either God’s trying real hard to kill him, or God’s who he is.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

We Are the World - News in Song

Feburary 10th - February 14th, 2010

G, D/F#, Em, C

3 out of 4 pillars ended on fire
vancouver’s attempt at a dazzling array
the Beijing opening was hard to follow
as they say in vancouver, it’s good enough, aye?

A terrible day for the country of Georgia
Whose Olympic hopes died while riding the luge
I guess when going 150 miles an hour on ice
The odds of bad things happening are huge

Alec Baldwin got rushed to the hospital
Because his daughter said he wanted to die
Slam dunk contest was sloppy and lazy
I’ve seen better dunks by white boys at the Y

And we are the world sang songs for Haiti
And by “we” I mean the top 1% of Hollywood billionaire musicians

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Saints Win the SuperBowl - News in Song

February 1st - February 9th, 2010

F#m, A

Super bowl went on in Miami
A record hundred six and a half million tuned in.
The most watched commercials ever
And those who paid attention to the game, you saw the saints go marching in.

It came out that Katie Couric
gets paid a whole lot more than her staff.
But you’d get that much too
if you had calfs like that

DC gets covered in Christmas
30 plus inches of snow
it’s pure white entrapment
it’s hell freezing over

Toyota falls from the top to the bottom
After brakes went out on their hybrid star Prius
You drive one, you might end up dead
but now’s your best chance to get a car of eco-bliss

USC recruited a 13-year old quarterback.
Could it be their coaches are high on powder they call crack
Hoping his domination of 95-pound kids
will translate to the bigs

and Mel Gibson called a reporter an a-hole
For asking the question we all want to know
Do you think people still hate you for hating some people?

Monday, February 1, 2010

State of the State - News in Song

January 24th - January 31st, 2010

Em, G, D/F#

obama gave the state of the state
and the truth is it ain’t all that great
so the optimistic rhetoric
isn’t quite what I’d expect

but most importantly, what’s the deal with miss pelosi’s
lips, is she eating them?

Brett favre threw a questionable throw
That sent the saints off to the superbowl
The fantasy giants of manning and brees
Will fight ‘til the other one’s down on his knees

Roger federer went to australia
sent andy murray crying like a baby kanga
As roger broke the record books further
16 majors and counting and counting

Apple released the ipad
What does it do? What is it for?
It’s an e-book reader for people who don’t read
It’s like a laptop but only without the lap you see
But who really cares, it’s shiny and cool.
And more than enough to make the fan babies drool.

leno went on oprah had a heart to heart
spoke his mind and made me forced to like him
But I need someone to hate
‘cause I need an enemy
or I’d have to admit that Americans don’t find brilliance that funny